Sunday, May 24, 2009

The *itch Who Turned 34

I intended to write something more intelligent, something worth reading like the saga of Perak, my take on the Obamas etc.. but then I figured, sod it. I’ll go with bimbo old me. Haha, bimbo-brained, not bimbo looking obviously since there’s still those pounds to shed, a haircut long overdue and no make-up on my face, stretch pants and now I am wondering why I even bother explaining, since it is obvious isn't it!

Where do I start? April was a crappy month. The planets were aligned weird which brought out the *itch in me (you can use either “w” or “b” in place of the *) and that just put me in a permanent scowl most of the month.

I turned 34 you see. Don’t you just think 34 smells just foul? I was ok with 33. I was ok when I was 30. 34 just tells you that, err 35 is next year? And that ain’t good. Made me grumpy the whole month. Top that up with the fact that N was away most April and when he got back, just 3 days shy of my birthday he went away again and only came back on my birthday, tired. Fell asleep, forgot about it altogether. Until today. Moan, moan. Bloody hell – I turned thirty blardy four!! And he slept???

That just put me off for the rest of the month and that was the end of April.

And yeah, that’s just how much of an airhead I am.

May, started out better. With age you tend to forget fast, I guess. I was fine for the first few weeks, enjoying life, the kids, Lipsick Jungle and all in life that’s dandy.

And then school exams came along.

It was a wake up call. I had to descend from the clouds, from the Land of Where My Son is A Genius and Does Not Need Help, to the Land of HELLPPPP, Seriously, We Need Help! Aiseh…Nasar was so laid back, he had a schedule all drawn up which basically said - study everything the night before the exams. Whaaaat??? And then, masa tuuu lah, I nak check buku dia from front to end and then switch to guilty mom mode sebab then I realised that Nasar actually needs lots and lots of coaching and needs me to sit down next to him to make sure he does his revision sebab his attention span adalah sebesar nyamuk. Kesian dia. Of course, when I was tired, I switched from guilty mom aka nice mom to *itch mode which then sent me back to guilty mom mode and then back to *itch mode. Kesian Nasar kan? Sighhh, you can never win. I have since bought a book on “What Real Moms Should Know” and have promised myself that I will actually read it someday instead of just using it as a coaster.

N was not of any help by the way. While I was nagging at Nasar up to the wee hours of the morning, he just stared at his computer. I swear he must have been asking himself all the time “What is this THING I married??” Aiseh…You can never win lah kan? And no, I will not get a book on How to Be a Better Wife. Sod it for now.

Exams are over. I have smooched Nasar silly in various attempts of redemption and hoping that I have not scarred him for life. My son is too sweet – he says he loves me no matter what. Sedih pulak dengar and here I go feeling guilty all over again..

May is now coming to an end. I am now normal. I think. The blardy thirty four year old*itch will stay in the closet for a while, while I happily turn on to bimbo mode and pretend I am actually eighteen. Bliss.

Here’s to June! Woooot!

12 comments:

  1. Happy belated birthday *itch! :)
    I get into that cycle of furious-nurturing-*itchy-attentive-screaming-motivating mom as well.. Can never winlah D.

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  2. Hiii, welcome back to cyberspace!! Was wondering why you were so quiet...anyway, kahwin warga emas macam ni laa. Take it from me, don't expect much and don't hope for much, then every little thing they do for us is indeed a 'biggie'!!

    Saw the little clip with Nasha 'reading'...soooo cute and adorable! Get Nasr on skype so he can call me whenever he needs 'homework help'...I'm available 24-7...My skype add is: aflizaimen

    Luv, kak oli

    ReplyDelete
  3. dilla - thanks babes! i surprise (or actually, shock) myself these days. I never knew I was the baling buku and screaming kind..until the kids came along, with their exams! Seriously - this aint good.

    kak oli!!!! - ya lahhh, i took a long break. one of those periods where i got really bored of myself, not that i am less bored of myself now! Haha. Was seriously contemplating on sending Nasar to camp at your place, tapi sbb dah last minute i had to do the teaching, and i really dont have the patience for it actually. kesian nasar.

    I miss Syajie!

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  4. Happy belated birthday !!
    Don't be scared of number 35. I'm 35 and still not feeling old.
    I understand your feelings regarding school exams. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I saw my son's BM exam paper.

    Soalan:
    Perkataan berlawanan (antonim) bagi TAJAM ialah.....

    Jawapan:
    Tak tajam

    Soalan:
    Abu pergi ke Pulau Langkawi dengan menaiki....

    a. feri b. lori c. jeti

    Jawapan:
    c. jeti


    Some subjects not only require additional coaching, we need to expose them more to the environment, I think. My son doesn't even know what a ferry is.

    ReplyDelete
  5. kak dayang - haha..i just find it an ugly number. macam dah midlife crisis! hehe.

    My son's BM is terrible. "Dia menggoreng sebilah ikan" "Ringan tulang = tak gemuk" or "dia mengambil seanggur anggur" and he thinks a parang is an ikan, (mana kita ada parang kat rumah ?)

    Nak marah pun, cannot over do it. We dont speak proper malay at home.. You're right, we need to expose them more!

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  6. D!!!! A belated 34. Missed it, dang!

    Here's a secret...you know you have turned into a secure, spiritual, wholesome and intelligent woman when you don't need N to feel happy for your b'day.

    It really is a process of self discovery.

    You just need great friends who will take you out for lunch (even if it is done late...so when???) and make you more of a bimbo! That's experience talking lah!

    Lots of love, K

    PS. No that wasn't me on TV! I wouldnt go anywhere near a camera, whatever form or kind!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Maya honey - am looking forward to lunch. let's do it next week MOnday? In your kitchen..I'll bring the stuff to cook?? I'll drag ood too.

    ps- so it looked like you but wasn't you huh? Haha.

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  8. Woman, you just hang out with me and you will feel all better...i will always always be older, sigh....

    And yah, guilty mode is pretty much the default mode these days. My daughters are pseudo mat salleh, if you believe their bm results...ada ke 60??? haii ....!!!

    When are we lunching now.....or tea ?? we have to do more girly stuff before we go back to our witch mom mode..

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  9. Anedra,

    Happy Belated Birthday....when you get to my age...I stopped counting.....so I feel 17 all the time...hence....everything, ha ha!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. SW- sounds like a good idea, but just so you know..you look younger than your age. Have to get the secret from you! And yes, tea or lunch soon. Ajak KG as well before she pops!

    KG - thanks dear. Ya, i keep telling myself that I am only 18! Well..that's really the age I FEEL i am..In denial kan?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Deyne,
    Happy Belated Birthday -- sorry for missing it by berbulan -- so many thing went on for us between April and now (move, work, visitors, etc.). We should plan on celebrating 2010 as our 35th year la kan? I bet that'll soften the blow. Just us girls, can?
    Amriejie

    ReplyDelete
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